Who am I?

My intentions are pure, my heart is seemingly right

Yet, Why do I return to my vomit?

Like a child desperate for attention, I repent of my sins

and promise to turn a new leaf. I feel satisfied with my

new state. I turn my attention to other things in hopes

of keeping my promise. At least for a while.

Then suddenly, the temptation rages, my flesh like a skilled

Hunter prompts me. I am being drawn to the bait:

Just one more time, everyone else is doing it. Who cares?

We each, our personal battles we must brave. But I

I give in to the lies, to the flesh, to the sin, I give in to death.

Why cant I be like the ant that prepares itself for the winter

While its still summer?

Why cant I be like a bird who prepares its nest far in advance?

Why cant I learn the ways of the faithful dog who remains true to

Its master? Help me because I have no idea.

But you, my refuge and my intercessor, are always faithful.

You were tempted just as I am, and yet, your ways are blameless

You love me for who I am: an unfaithful, un-trustworthy part of

Your creation. You seek me, even when I have no desire to return.

Your arms are always outstretched, at least for a while.

Who am I? Why am I the apple of your eye?

You alone know. But I will trust in you, over and over, until when I

Overcome, I will trace my roots back to you, and it’s going to be worth it.

It has to be.

Sincerely,
Akolade