My intentions are pure, my heart is seemingly right
Yet, Why do I return to my vomit?
Like a child desperate for attention, I repent of my sins
and promise to turn a new leaf. I feel satisfied with my
new state. I turn my attention to other things in hopes
of keeping my promise. At least for a while.
Then suddenly, the temptation rages, my flesh like a skilled
Hunter prompts me. I am being drawn to the bait:
Just one more time, everyone else is doing it. Who cares?
We each, our personal battles we must brave. But I
I give in to the lies, to the flesh, to the sin, I give in to death.
Why cant I be like the ant that prepares itself for the winter
While its still summer?
Why cant I be like a bird who prepares its nest far in advance?
Why cant I learn the ways of the faithful dog who remains true to
Its master? Help me because I have no idea.
But you, my refuge and my intercessor, are always faithful.
You were tempted just as I am, and yet, your ways are blameless
You love me for who I am: an unfaithful, un-trustworthy part of
Your creation. You seek me, even when I have no desire to return.
Your arms are always outstretched, at least for a while.
Who am I? Why am I the apple of your eye?
You alone know. But I will trust in you, over and over, until when I
Overcome, I will trace my roots back to you, and it’s going to be worth it.
It has to be.
Sincerely,
Akolade
